It was 1980 something. My dad’s mom just passed away. Our Living Room was full of mourners and comforters of the Bereaved. I walked into the Room and I said to my Dad, “I heard your mummy died” . Dad said, “ Yes, your Grandma”. I put my little hands on his right shoulder and told him, “Sorry”. Shaking him in consolation at the same time. My Dad said “Thank you” in response to my display of empathy. There was a pause for about 10 seconds. Then I said, “So Daddy you are now an Orphan?”. He stared at me somewhat askance …
My Grandfather, my daddy’s daddy, died long before I was born so I never knew him. At school in Reading Class we were reading Oliver Twist at the time and I had learnt that Oliver Twist was an Orphan and that an Orphan was someone who did not have a mummy or daddy. So I did the maths and concluded that my Daddy was now an Orphan. Daddy always encouraged us to learn new words and include them in our vocabulary.
Daddy snapped out of his stare, managed a wry smile and said, “Yes son, you are right. I guess you can say I am an orphan now.” Still with my hand on his shoulder I replied, “Sorry”. Again there was silence. Not having more to say I announced, rather perfunctorily but innocently “I am going outside to play now.” Half way out of the room I heard a catchment of Uncles and Aunties, some related , some unrelated, chuckling and laughing. Curious to know what had elicited the guffaws in such a somber moment, I slowed my steps to stall my exit. It was then I caught Uncle Gabriel’s remark, “To be a child again”. To which Aunty Esther retorted, “Ignorance is bliss.”
It took me decades of recollection and reflection to totally comprehend what had actually transpired in that scene. Looking back, sometimes, I wish I could assume some of the qualities of that child once again. The innocence, the capacity for kindness, empathy and unapologetic frankness. Strangely these were qualities the character of Oliver Twist exhibited all through his adventures in the eponymous novel by Charles Dickens. Although initially these traits didn’t serve the little waif well. Like the time he innocently asked for more in the workhouse, which earned him a hard knock on the head with a serving spoon and grave consequences thereafter. But ultimately they did and things turned out well for Oliver. Thanks to Mr. Brownlow, Rose and Nancy. And no thanks to Mr. Bumble, Fagin, Monks and Sikes.
Sometimes in life we are confronted with obstacles and bad people (Did I just hear you identify and mumble the Messrs Bumble and Fagin in your life? Not to worry we all have them coming up in life ) but at the same time fate makes us cross paths with perfect strangers who turn out to be as loving and supportive as kith and kin. often times even more supportive. it is these strangers turned family (the Mr. Brownlows and Roses in our lives) that make life worth living and should be cherished and showered with the fruits of our humanity – child-like innocence, empathy, kindness and frankness. As for the others, a cunning and rapier wit is our best weapon cum defense. The Good Book says “Be meek as a Lamb and wise as a Serpent.”
DrAlexanderGrey 